jueves, 30 de julio de 2009

Helpless



This is the a feeling so bad that sometimes u want to kill your self, but that’s not the occasion here , I am 30 years old and I have done so much in my life and right now in my life I feel so helpless within my self let me explain :

Since I was young I was what u call a Super Kid I was the first in my class ,play baseball ,football , basket ball and I became a martial arts instructor even won first place in my town swimming team. I was part of the Olympic team in Karate and travel the world, at that time I was the best in anything I try….. And more...I use to study thing out of my grades all the time like genetics, aeronautics I even became a computer tech… a I love learning and in that time I was so full of energy and more, I never stop learning and never surrender always practicing and all the will in the world but everything change when I came back from the war (Iraq).

My life change so much I feel so miserable now I have lost all I ever was even my will to live my life is not even important anymore. Every day of my new life is going to my appointments see the doctor and be at my hose all the time I don’t event want to go out anymore I am right now weighing almost 400 pounds that’s so wrong I use to weight 230 back in the army but with this meds and all my conditions my life sucks.. I so young and my life are so depressing and helpless I feel disgusting of my self…..WAR SUCKS ….

It destroy my life and anything it touches … If anyone is reading this please don’t feel sorry for my fat ass, that my problem that I have so overcome some day …….

Thanks for reading……..